Fab-Fad

 

I wish I could say I wasn't a Fad-Dieter.  But I totally am.  I never follow through with them completely (no surprise there) but I always like to start them just to see what it's like. How does it make my body feel?  Do I feel better or worse?  And of course most importantly....

OMG! Do my pants fit differently today?!!

I've done everything from South Beach, Zone, Atkins, HCG (why? because it was available and i could. that's why), Cabbage Soup, etc etc etc. (not the Tapeworm Diet, though... that's just gross)

Ever since running has come into play, however, the whole Fad-Diet thing is no longer an interest.  I can't run a decent 10 miler with 83g of protein and 4 1/2 carbs in my system.  I'd collapse before I even finished stretching.  Plus I find that Fad-Diets are usually highly un-enjoyable, make me tired, and I'm always STARVING.

But occasionally, I'll try the whole Detox-ing thing.

I took a look in my fridge the other day and was, to say the least, appalled.

(not actually my fridge.  mine is much scarier.  + PandaExpress boxes, - Beer)

What happened to the produce? The fresh veggies?  The bags and bags of spinach to make my delectable and beloved Spinach Smoothies?  Instead I see Diet Pepsi, cheese, take-out boxes of who-knows what from who-knows-when, and tupperware full of pasta (necessary for carb loading, but still?!)

Detoxifying is about more than just the body.  It's about willpower, the mind, and the Cleaning of the Refrigerator.  This is a very cleansing and important event.  While initially stressful, the end result will bring you to a place of peace and zen (and usually a WAY overloaded garbage can).

Day 1 of the Master Cleanse, aka Lemonade Diet, aka Starving Yourself for 3-10 Days Until You Can't Take It Any More and Hit the Filiberto's Drive-Thru On The Way Home From Work Because You're Going To Pass Out Cleanse.

This is a real (although maybe not be clinically-) proven detox.  Basically I'm giving my body a chance to reset (because I've been sick an awful lot lately............... ok and because Phoenix Fashion Week is looming around the corner and we all can guess what happens when you do nothing but drink lemon water for three days....yaaaa!).  

And giving myself 3 days to throw out everything in my fridge.

(or just 3 days to hide the diet pepsi around the house to "find" at a later date of severe need)

I think the cleanse only effective if you do it for the full 10 days... but I'm mid- day one and it feels like day 11.  So far I've had 3 giant glasses of the the concoction (which I actually enjoy the taste of), two goldfish crackers, and 4 gummy Princesses Fruit Snack (i snuck them out of the package before I gave the rest to Jack...don't ask why he has Disney Princess Fruit Snacks.  It's mysterious).

So far... success! (?)