Truck Driving

Pro: you get to travel
Pro: you can work alone. No annoying coworkers, bosses, etc
Con: obnoxious people (like myself) egging you on to honk your horn
Pro: having that horn handy to use whenever you please
Pro: sleeping wherever you want
Con: having to eat road food...(fast food = gross)

Pro: "car singing"... Everyone does it. Why not get paid at the same time?

Con: watching all the cars pass you while you chug up a small mountain at 30mph
Pro: CB radios and trucker humor
Pro: truck stops
Con: truck stops

my car is my home.

You know that game of "If you were stranded on a deserted island, what are the three things you would bring??"

I feel like today is a true-life situation of exactly that.  Minus the deserted island.

Today I leave Salt Lake City to spend a few months bouncing back and forth between southern California, Arizona, and a few places in the Northwest (with a West Coast roadtrip from San Diego to Washington state sometime around Christmas).  My plans so far are only made up til about mid-January.  And I'm not sure if I'm coming back to Utah any time soon.

Operation: pack car with necessities of life.

It's an interesting thought: if you had to live out of your car for 6+ months, what would you bring??  I'm pretty sure everyone's answer would be different (with the exception of clothes, some soap, and a change of underwear or two...hopefully).  I think one can find out a lot about themselves and where their priorities are if put in this situation.  I know I have.  

Here's a list of my "necessities" for the next 3+ months of car living:

Shoes/Leggings

Scarves

Photo Album**

Marlene

GATORADE!!!!!!

Polaroid + extra film

Yoga Mat <3

Running Gear

Let's face it... between Boston and I... things can get messy

**Yes, i understand that this photo is not of me, or anyone I know.  I also understand that my last name is not Johnson.  I'm also aware that the protective covering over said Album is still attached.  The point of bringing the Album is to have a better chance of actually filling it up.

I really wish i had room for my beach cruiser.

Orange.

This tree is one house down from the one I've been staying in.  Everytime I walk by it I stop and stare because it's perfect.  There's something about a big orange tree with fallen leaves all over the grass that makes me feel so..... happy.  It's comforting, home-y, fall-y.  Fall is my favorite season, always has been. The colors, the smells, the cold air, boots, chimney smoke, scarves, leggings, hats....good food.  All the good food happens this time of year.

 

Everyone's been telling me to give the Provo canyon a try for running.  I've been running on the roads here and it hasn't been pleasant.  This morning, in my new Nike winter compression pants (!!!), I gave the Provo canyon a whirl.  It.  Was.  Fabulous.  It was gorgeous and cold and alone and freezing and liberating and I almost got frostbite on my nose.  Who needs a nose, anyways?  I ran and ran and ran and ran until I realized, crap I better turn around or I may not make it back to my car.  I can't wait to go again tomorrow.  Why did I discover this place a few days before leaving?? :(

Provo Canyon

 

Mile 6

Utah, you are bitterly cold.  You are traffick-y and people-y.  You only allow one piece swimsuits at your Universities lap pool, and you're full of people who don't really know how to run.

But I love you.

Cheese and Whine

Chihuahuas for Sale!!!!
Would Boston be jealous?

I'm a simple girl.  There are really only a few things I need to be happy.  Today, I got none of them.

Utah apparently doesn't know what REAL running shoes are.  All I wanted was a pair of Brooks Ghost3's or another pair of Newtons (ok lets be honest I can't afford those yet).  All I found were Nike (barf) and Saucony (meh).  Needless to say I came home with a pair of running pants (the shorts left my legs frostbitten) and strawberry twizzlers.  Don't judge me.

Also, today I was set on swimming.  Not splashing around in a pool reading magazines and checking out lifeguards kind of swimming.  I've been craving a lap pool since I left Arizona.  I set out with my one piece, BYU-approved swimsuit and was DETERMINED to get into that pool.  The lifeguard had other plans.  I think he was gay.  I'll try again tomorrow (slash, when another lifeguard is on duty).

Lastly,  no amount of money in the world could buy this:  I wanted SUN.  We've had such beautiful weather these past couple days and I just wanted ONE MORE DAY of happy fall weather.  I woke up to rain, rain, rain.

On a positive(ish) note, less than a week left of my Utah stay then it's off to California!  A week of studio time, writing, and shows in Los Angeles!  Not exactly a relaxing California vacation but hey... I've had enough sitting around.  I'm ready to go!

Arizona.

When I first moved to Arizona, I couldn't understand why "those people" there were so obsessed with that place.  They'd always be like, "oh but we have a lake!" and "the landscape is so beautiful!" and "the weather is so nice!!"  I thought they were all loco because when I looked outside my window I saw a lot of cacti, dirt, and rocks.  The only beauty I could ever really see was sometimes there are really pretty sunsets.  Sometimes.  Plus it was always scorching hot and I missed the simple things in life like trees and a lawn.

I'm all dressed and ready go on a run, but I decided I'd rather not be outside in the freezing cold.  Instead, I cranked the heater up and found pictures of things I miss most about Arizona:

Pool sessions any time of day!

Warm, sunny weather <3

5am Canal running

Falling during 5am Canal running (ok I don't really miss that haha)

Sunrises

Things that only the Southwest can offer (shudder!)

Bicycle weather

Awesome temperatures (just makes for a nice, mild winter)

Bruce.

The best Boba smoothies in the world.

Being able to sleep/snuggle with Boston!!!

Can we PLEASE go home !?!

Now that I'm gone, I miss what I can't have.

I'll probably be back sooner than I think.  Yeah.  I'm one of "those people."

Mr. Sun

Sigh.

It's official.

I am now in the middle of a wintery, sunless, mess.

My skin is slowly going from happy-Arizona-sunned-bronze to pasty, chalky, sick-bed white.

I'm sorry skin.

I'm still in denial, and I still force "Medium Tan" BareMinerals (swoon) on my face when I really should be wearing "Queen Elizabeth III Ivory" or whatever is the whitest thing they sell.

 On the plus side, it's semi-sunny today and probably not below freezing temperatures, so I think I'll go sit on top of a mountain and try to write stuff.

Hey Boston... Remember what sun felt like??  Me neither.

Boo. And not in the scary way.

Date: Halloween Weekend.
Current City: Provo
Temperature: Freezing
Mood: Look at info above.  What do you think??


So i sacrificed attendance of the "coolest Halloween parties EVERRRR" on Friday night to take a roadtrip up to Rexburg to play at Sammy's Cafe.  It was actually lots of fun.  Free food, Boston came with, lasted about 20 minutes at a "super cool Halloween dance party" after the show....oh Rexburg.

Setting up.  I was posing for this but doubt I was aware at how "special" of a face I was making.

 

Check it out... first official "fan" photo.  Doesn't really count cuz I'm friends with one of them on
Facebook and he tagged me in it.  But still cool.

The next morning I headed back to Utah to play a show at Sammy's in Provo.  Just my luck, it rained and rained and rained up until the start of the show so it got canceled.  Which I was 89% bummed about and 11% excited about because I thought that meant I had a second chance at experiencing the coolness of Halloween (after missing all the events because of the show on Friday night).

Here's how Saturday night went:

9:30 -- Head to party in Provo

10:02 -- Die of thirst/heat exhaustion/lack of oxygen.  Hydrate, go outside.  Ho-hum around the front lawn of House Party. 

11:00 -- After extreme indecisiveness, head to SLC for some "better" parties

11:25 -- Gas station pit stop.  Watch in fascination as Samantha takes 20 minutes to decide on what to get for drinks.  Spend another 5 minute playing "gas station greeters".... say hi to scary bearded terrorist guy with "fake" dynamite strapped to his chest. 

12:07am -- Arrive at first party.  Eat candy bars, dance to Lady Gaga.  Try to talk some guys out of getting in a fight over a boob-grab incident (of which i was not involved).  

12:28 -- Drive around looking for a party that hasn't already been broken up by the SLC Police Dept

1:28 -- Still driving

2:00 -- Find a basement party.  Get hyphy.  Go Dumb. 

2:30-- Leave to get some food.  End up at Denny's.

4:12am -- Bed.  Finally.

Almost 7 hours of "partying" and only 40 minutes of actually attending parties.  10 of which were spent trying to find water.  10 minutes talking the guys out of beating each other up, 10 minutes trying to get my dumb onesie jumpsuit thing off so i could pee, and 10 mins dancing to super trendy underground indie/electronic music.

Utah, you are AWESOME.

Phoenix Fashion Week

Sometimes I do things without thinking.  Sometimes I do things intentionally.

Sometimes I do things for entirely the wrong reasons.

Sometimes I do things to prove people wrong and then just end up putting my foot and/or other various body parts in my mouth (depending on how much of an ass I've made myself).

Dave is a model.  I am not.  Dave is a triathlete.  I am not.  Dave is cool.  I am not.

But sometimes I like to pretend I am.


Which is why I end up doing things like marathon training....

                                                    ....learning to swim laps (for the day I attempt a triathlon).....

                ....And Phoenix Fashion Week.


I went to the casting call mostly to prove to Dave that I wouldn't make it, and thus rub in his face the fact that I was right all along about not being "model material."

When I got the big "CONGRATULATIONS!" email, my heart sank (not to mention it almost went under cardiac arrest).

But then began a crazy whirl of fun, stress, and make-up induced acne that was all a part of making my summer 2010 AMAZING.

Although I'm glad I'll never again have a reason to do frantic 4:30am distance runs, 24-hour water diets, and 40 minute steam room sessions (every last ounce counts!), Phoenix Fashion week was an incredible experience.

I learned a lot over the summer:  I've learned about confidence, kindness, and how to cat-hiss at dumb model girls when they're not looking.  I learned that I can pull off red lipstick and that sometimes I stand pigeon-toed (gross).  I've learned that being a good model really does take talent and work, and walking on a runway is NOT like walking around the mall. 

And no matter how hot you are, the wrong photographers can still make you look like $#!t.

Unfortunately, I also learned that I will never be a fashionista.  No one's fashion sense rubbed off on me.  My closet will probably always be full of jeans and tanktops. 

Which is why I hire people like Megan to make me pretty:

While I loved all the photoshoots, the clothes, the hair, and strutting on the runway while trying to keep my shoes from falling off....it's the people I've met and the friendships that have been created that are really what's going to last forever.


(along with probably a few pictures that I wish were never taken).


Check out PHX Fashion Weeks fbook pics HERE or my album Here!

A Letter

K Smith

123 Cherry ln

Somewhere, USA 88888

Dear Socially Retarded Owners of House on 32nd Street,

   Thank you for being by far the worst and laziest landlords I've ever had.

   Thank you for taking 3 months to fix the sprinklers and yet still insist on keeping them on even though they just shot water straight up and turned the "lawn" into a mud-pit.

   Thank you for not doing anything about the insane ant infestation. Twice. Your advice of "spray some raid" was really, really helpful.


   

   Also thank you for not doing anything about the not-so-occasional night time visitors I would get in the bathroom... Spare bedroom... Random cupboards... And the front porch. They really kept me on my toes. Literally.



   Thanks for randomly asking for a $500 deposit.... 2 months after I moved in (good thing i dragged my feet on that one, right?).

  Thanks for watching as we put in time, effort, and money to furnish the place, because you had "no other plans" for the house...and then giving me my eviction notice a week later.


  


Thanks for keeping your monster truck 
thing in the side yard....

...the engine-less, interior-less Porches in both parking spots of the garage...

 

...and not one, but two trailers in my driveway. Because... I "only need one parking spot, right?" 

(this thing's not going anywhere...)

(PS, what's up with the random boat? It doesn't even have upholstery...or a motor.)

  Thanks for showing up randomly without notice. All the time.

  Thanks for sending your teenage son over to peer in windows... I mean, ahem, "mow the lawn."  You can thank him for leaving without turning the pool hose off.... Every single time.


  That reminds me... Thanks for the awesome "pool"!!!!!!!! 

aww....the pool matches my green shoes.  presh.

WTF!!!!

  Thank you for the collapsing cupboard shelves, never-ending running toilet, crappy shower with half the water coming out of the shower head, and the other half pouring out of the spout, and the drippy kitchen sink.  And the leaky refrigerator. Which leads to...

...thanks for doing absolutely no maintenance on your house whatsoever, causing the septic to back up which has resulted in an awesome bathroom flood a week before I move out*

*(which I'm not going to tell you about until I'm halfway to Utah)

** (and i'll spare you all and refrain from posting a pic)


  But mostly, thanks for your offer to be a great reference for my next rental, under the condition that I get the carpet fixed where Boston chewed a hole in the hallway.

  Thanks, but I can do without the reference. I was only there 4 months. 

Sincerely,

K


P.S. Boston s#%* in your bedroom.

Asia -32 pts

I'll be needing one of these while I'm all by my lonesome in Utah.  Whoever wants to buy it for me, it will be much appreciated and I'll love you forever.  Please and thank you.

Just kidding.

The only thing this is missing is a creepy head and little eyeballs that stare down at you while you're sleeping. At least it might sell to some of the Twi-tards (ya Twilight humor!)

For supposedly being one of the smartest and innovative cultures, this thing sucks.

Sorry, Asia.  You just got a thumbs down.

F is for FAIL

Update:

 

The cleanse is was going really well.

 

Until I found a better use for the Maple Syrup:

 

 

Maybe there's a waffle/maple syrup diet somewhere. 

 

And if there isn't..... I'm making one.

Fab-Fad

 

I wish I could say I wasn't a Fad-Dieter.  But I totally am.  I never follow through with them completely (no surprise there) but I always like to start them just to see what it's like. How does it make my body feel?  Do I feel better or worse?  And of course most importantly....

OMG! Do my pants fit differently today?!!

I've done everything from South Beach, Zone, Atkins, HCG (why? because it was available and i could. that's why), Cabbage Soup, etc etc etc. (not the Tapeworm Diet, though... that's just gross)

Ever since running has come into play, however, the whole Fad-Diet thing is no longer an interest.  I can't run a decent 10 miler with 83g of protein and 4 1/2 carbs in my system.  I'd collapse before I even finished stretching.  Plus I find that Fad-Diets are usually highly un-enjoyable, make me tired, and I'm always STARVING.

But occasionally, I'll try the whole Detox-ing thing.

I took a look in my fridge the other day and was, to say the least, appalled.

(not actually my fridge.  mine is much scarier.  + PandaExpress boxes, - Beer)

What happened to the produce? The fresh veggies?  The bags and bags of spinach to make my delectable and beloved Spinach Smoothies?  Instead I see Diet Pepsi, cheese, take-out boxes of who-knows what from who-knows-when, and tupperware full of pasta (necessary for carb loading, but still?!)

Detoxifying is about more than just the body.  It's about willpower, the mind, and the Cleaning of the Refrigerator.  This is a very cleansing and important event.  While initially stressful, the end result will bring you to a place of peace and zen (and usually a WAY overloaded garbage can).

Day 1 of the Master Cleanse, aka Lemonade Diet, aka Starving Yourself for 3-10 Days Until You Can't Take It Any More and Hit the Filiberto's Drive-Thru On The Way Home From Work Because You're Going To Pass Out Cleanse.

This is a real (although maybe not be clinically-) proven detox.  Basically I'm giving my body a chance to reset (because I've been sick an awful lot lately............... ok and because Phoenix Fashion Week is looming around the corner and we all can guess what happens when you do nothing but drink lemon water for three days....yaaaa!).  

And giving myself 3 days to throw out everything in my fridge.

(or just 3 days to hide the diet pepsi around the house to "find" at a later date of severe need)

I think the cleanse only effective if you do it for the full 10 days... but I'm mid- day one and it feels like day 11.  So far I've had 3 giant glasses of the the concoction (which I actually enjoy the taste of), two goldfish crackers, and 4 gummy Princesses Fruit Snack (i snuck them out of the package before I gave the rest to Jack...don't ask why he has Disney Princess Fruit Snacks.  It's mysterious).

So far... success! (?)

Spin the Globe and Point

3 years.  5 houses.  Another eviction notice.

...this is starting to sound like a really, really bad movie plot.  When do the zombies come in?

It's just been me and Boston, Boston and me in this house for 3 glorious months.  He has his own bedroom and a yard to romp around in.  I have a refrigerator to myself, a drumset in the dining room, and a green pool/pond/swamp to look fondly at through a big kitchen window.

Not to mention we just put a LOT of effort (and $$) into furnishing this place.

*knock knock* 

Who's there?

Your Landlord.  Please leave in 30 days.

....that joke sucks. 

But it's kind of the story of my life.

What to do??

Option A) 
change all the locks, refuse to leave, and live in fear for as long as I can until they call the cops and pull me out kicking and screaming

Option B) 
Tell Boston the house is fair game and he can eat as much baseboard, carpet, and hose as he wants ..... while i punch in all the walls with my bare fists and invite all the ASU kids over for some unsupervised "fun"
 

orrrrr......

C)

Enjoy the last few weeks in this place that I've called home while simultaneously planning another move/trying to keep my sanity (and eating everything in the freezer/fridge because lets be honest, moving food sucks).

Sigh...........I'm not a good person.

It'll end up being a pretty good mix of B) and C)

Party at my house???